When you stole me away from your little at your fraternity banquet, I thought it would only be a casual joke. Who would’ve known two months later, you stole me away from him forreal and got me falling for you. Its the morn now and I have not slept. Staying up watching videos your fraternity uploaded, videos of three, six, even up to ten years ago when you were stepping out of your teens. Videos of your university days, the days where you were my age.
These videos hold traces of your younger days. The days when your smiles were more genuine, carefree, when your wrinkles have not settled and when your heart was still barely marred. They show the you I wish I could’ve gotten to know. The you I completely missed. The you of your golden glory days, with crazy stunts, parties, roadtrips, performancs. The you being high on life, love, and dreaming of the future. The you without life’s lessons taking effect. The you that was a boy, and not yet a workaholic man of today.
These images and voice and footages of that young boy pull at my heartstrings. They hurt so much, yet these videos only make me find myself adoring you more. You’ve been through life, has up and downs. Ups with your brothers, making countless memories, and stepping foot into the world as a businessman and a dj. Downs when your first ex left you and got engaged, when you argued with your parents, when you left your millionaire father back in the Philippines, when you bought the house for your mother and sister and realize you now have a mortgage on your name at such a tender age.
The younger you makes me miss you more, ache for you more, and on the inside I find myself thinking this man, no, this boy, is now all that I know and all that I think of recently… but he is not mine. Probably never will be, because the summer is long, and I am moving away, and how I wish you have not shown up in my life. How you have not taken my purity, my body, consuming my thoughts with your face. How things didn’t happen like this, and how it shouldn’t be this hard and arduous to fall in love with you.
You are this to me, I wonder then, what am I to you?
Honestly, I don’t even want to know.