some people around me often mistaken the quietude in my personality and my nonchalant attitude for not having a social life.

when really, i’m just detached from it.

there aren’t places in this city i haven’t been to with others, and i’ve driven through numerous gas tanks for various occasions and purposes. be it across the river separating the two states just to go eat bbq, or the new lounge downtown that overcharge alcoholic drinks (fake id’s are ever convenient), or the other colleges under the university itself, or the mall outlets that rarely has clothes i like, or all the museums and starting next monday, the amusement park that i’ve gone in so much the years prior that i’ve grown bored of the roller coasters (frankly idk why i still agreed to go).

next month i’m going on a road trip, again, to tennesse. 

i go out, and i do enjoy spending time with the people i go with (each group of them separate from knowing the other), but at the end of the day, once we’ve part ways, shit ends.

i can’t make myself give out any attachments. i don’t bother keeping up with them, i’m friendly yes, and we do talk a lot, true, but any part of my personal self is kept veiled behind boisterous laughing and offhanded comments.

i wonder what one calls this style of mutilated social life, lol.

i’m there, but i can’t bring myself to really be there, or get close despite sometimes sleeping on the same bed with those friends, multiple times. the physical proximity is there.

and that’s as far as it’ll ever go.